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Grin Away

A Poem For My Friendship Today: Momentary Delay

9/25/16 01:52 pm - A Poem For My Friendship Today: Momentary Delay

I've been running into my mind so deep into my furthering practices
All I see is a light so bright it'll eat the world around it;
Glowing and complex like the depth every night seems to lack.

In all lack of obliviousness, I know how hard I've been cheated
And every face I've seen is like some awful and fake little lying scene
Even my favorite woman doesn't oft have the balls to tell me how she feels
And until I get her drunk enough, she won't face up the simplest flirt

But I know what I am and how I play
Who the hell would hear my words without my mouth on the keys?
And know a single god-damned thing?

I mean, I get how positives-in-kind can be so attractive...
I find in all reasonability completed theories for crafting black holes
Out of those perfectly useful stars.
With a touch of a small-scale precision magic trick...
I have a list of ways for blanking out the stars in the darkest of constellations
And making that decisively defined black hole, all it's proclaimed mysterious incongruity
So damn simple, so damn weak, so damn easy to replicate as something much more complete

This universe can be collapsed into itself and turned into an entirely new foundation
We can build an eternal learning structure out of the wisdom in inter-connectivity
Ever raising up around us...
No end to theory and understanding as it pulses in full to make stuff the likes of which
Even our worst fantasies and darkest interpretations:
could never absolve of intellect and truth.

I carry schematics for superstructures in my head
And as I ponder and tweak them all
Like some simulatory recraft in full draft at my absolute discretion and lengthy playful tasking
I know no pencil and paper could even fairly reference them
Without taking to letters so intricate and defined you couldn't imagine them well enough to see...
All those shapes and curves and sharp, jagged, deathly letters' parts: Driving Them Insane.
I don't even know if the paper would survive me playing at that game.

So I store it away and mail it to Godly Thoughts
Channeling Red like my religion had always meant everything to me
I develop all practice into entirely new philosophy
And create new tongues out of my mouth just to whisper them in my wakeful and ever-active sleep
I've got my Nirvana in a world that barely lets me breathe.

I take a walk across the street and a car almost hits me
I wander to an empty park and suddenly its full of people
I stray into a shop for consumable self-sustaining tricks to watch everyone play their best
I try explaining anything or something to anyone claimed a professional...
to hear them miss every fucking moment and lie about in a panic at trying to still do their supposed job
I get invited to Christianity as though I've never known it...
just to correct them about the importance of actually reaching up to anything GOD you can find
and obeying its grandeur in the most direct aspiration if you ever plan on being in Christ
Like you keep pretending I haven't already done.

I watch wavering in the air and know these things that whisper around me are more than tangible.
I watch the sun fall around me at awkward angles that defy the reasonable naturalities for any beam of light to obey,
Shifting angles, creeping across shadows, climbing under the hood of my parasol,
The sky is a-haze with dirt like a cluster of some sandstorm in a barren prarie
The medicine always tastes a little like death,
and I walk in an awkward step: therein death be all the more available to known.

I never survived my suicides, I just grew up all the more enlightened.
I don't mean to lose a thing.
I don't care if anyone ever takes me seriously throughout the full of this affair.
I don't care if every body that gets weak when I talk to it never lets me slip off its clothes.
I don't care if all the people who cling and hold to me ever say the tangible "I love you."

I've got people all around my limited network of direct access stepping up above themselves
Acting moral, acting smart... and I see them every day through those thoughts and conversations
I'd swear I'm answering the prayers you're just too dumb to think of;
When I watch you all behave better in the next time we talk:
Exactly Like I Told You To.

- I love you all.
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